reformingfury | (no subject)

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Dave wakes up groggy and sore in the infirmary the day after Halloween. He barely remembers what followed after the shed. How he got here, if he was brought by a friend or if he walked in in a near-catatonic daze after he emptied his stomach, not even who bandaged up his burnt and scratched up skin. Looking around him, he hopes that he’ll at least know that Maxxie and the rest are fine. And that whoever he talks to can tell him that he wasn’t wrong in what he did. That it wasn’t real. That what Dave did was just in self defense and an accident. That he isn’t actually a killer.

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Dave's attention snaps right up to Maxxie's face, looking him over as best as he can from where they are. He was scared of how bad Az and Nick might have gotten him, given the silence from the other boy before he was dragged away by his former teammates.

"Like shit... Think they really bruised my ribs. But surprisingly not broken. And alive." He tries to get up, but when the pain in his side doesn't allow for much movement, Dave gestures for Maxxie to come closer to him. "You? Fuck, I was fees king out for you so much."

He doesn't need the gesture of invitation. It's only the ache in his own side that stops Maxxie from jumping forward immediately to keep Dave laying back in his bed. Gingerly Maxxie grabs a seat on the edge of the mattress.

"I'm alright," Maxxie reassures him. He's tired and aching, but he is in one piece. "It wasn't me they were after," he points out. His attention focuses on Dave, gaze sharp with concern as he gives him a good look over.

"What happened? I don't remember-- They found us in the caves, I got that. But it's all black after that. I woke up in the passage, and when I came up here someone'd already brought you in. Did you fight 'em off?"

Dave's frown deepens as he shakes his head. "They beat the crap out of me and threw me into the tool shed."

He glances at Maxxie's hand, wanting to take it more than anything, but unsure if he could continue telling him about what happened if he does. Contact right now might just make him break down and want to forget what he did.

"My dad was waiting for me. Gonna beat the gay out of me or something. But I... I flipped. I got up and fought him instead, and..."

Thinking about what happened makes his stomach turn again, so he skips over how that ended.

"When I got out of the shed, I just walked here in a daze. I can't even remember who treated me and shit."

Maxxie's stomach twists and turns uncomfortably as he listens to Dave speak. He can't imagine fighting his dad, not physically, not for any reason. There's times he gets Max so frustrated that he does want to take a swing at him, but he never does and he never, ever would. He can only guess what it must have been like for Dave, and assumes that fighting his dad off -- and having to, knowing his dad wanted to beat him probably to death -- is enough to shake him up something awful.

He scoots closer on the bed, reaching out to take Dave's hand and lean in to give him a kiss. "You're alright now," he says, hoping that helps. "It's over. It's done. You're safe, kay?"

He feels a little of his tension slip away under the feel of Maxxie's lips, sighing heavily at knowing that at least both of them are safe now.

"Jesus, Maxxie, I was so fucking scared. I thought he was going to kill me, and I didn't know what happened to you in the caves and all I could think was how I didn't want any of us to be dead because I'm a fucking coward..." Dave's breath hitches and he stops babbling to get himself back in order.

"I didn't want it to end that way, though. Fuck, I have no clue how else I could have ended it after I was locked in, but that was." He looks up, trying not to completely lose it and start sobbing in front of his boyfriend.

"I think I killed him, Max."

He's still for a long second, way too long to try and play it off as nothing, like what Dave's said hasn't completely floored him. But would anyone have believed it if he tried to brush past this? That's not the kind of statement anybody can hear with calm.

"It wasn't really him," Maxxie blurts out. His hand tightens on Dave's. "It was a nightmare, yeah? Like a really there nightmare, but it wasn't really your dad. You were just fighting a monster, like.. like anybody would do."

Dave swallows hard, trying still to hold back tears as he nods almost manically. "Yeah. Yeah, I know, I just... Jesus fuck l, when his head banged like that, all the blood was just--"

He stops goin on as soon as he realizes he's lost his control and feels his years runnin down his face.

It doesn't matter whether it was a dream or not, does it? Dave still saw what he saw: his own father coming after him and his own father falling and not getting back up. Maxxie's stomach turns at the thought -- at how messed up he would be if that had happened to him -- but he still holds to his first response.

"It wasn't real," he repeats, softer this time. He shifts and scoots, settling himself beside Dave so he can slip an arm around his broad shoulders. "It's alright. It's all alright now, okay?"

His nodding and tears continue even as he leans into Maxxie's loose but supporting embrace. Dave buries his face into his boyfriend's neck, snuffling and willing his crying to just stop. He always feels terrible and weak when he cries, and while he knows Maxxie won't think badly of him for showing this side, it doesn't make him feel any less pathetic.

"I'm never going to get that image out of my head. Fuck, I just..." Groping around he reaches for Maxxie's hand and holds him close, kissing his hand and taking refuge in the fact that he still has Maxxie. He might be broken- both of them in different degrees- but they're alive and there together. He can hold on to that.

He tightens his arm around Dave when the other boy moves into him, happy to offer that little bit of physical support. He's not a shrink or great with words; hugs, however, he's pretty experienced with.

Squeezing Dave's hand, Maxxie presses a kiss to his forehead and holds him. "Keep telling yourself it's not real. Don't let it get at you. You can do that. I know you can, yeah?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I can." It's going to be hard, and he knows that there will be nights like the ones they've been having over the past month to come. But he knows that he can do it now. Maxxie's here, still holding him, believing in him. Reminding him of what was real and what isn't so that they can keep moving on. As long as he has that, he'll be fine. And the reason for that is even more overwhelming than it was before when they were running in the caves. So much so that the words just pull themselves out of his mouth.

"I love you."

The words knock the breath right out of him and Maxxie can't respond for a second. He doesn't have the physical ability to, though there's really little doubt in his head. It's just been such a long 24 hours, a long month, a long year, that his body can't keep up with the rest of him sometimes.

"I love you, too." He has to force the words out, his voice rough and not so smooth at all, but he means them. It's scary and he means them. "And I know you're gonna be alright."

Dave brushes his lips against Maxxie's temple again and tries to not think how much this sucks. He's happy that Maxxie love him too. He didn't really doubt that at all after last night, though there was the fear of him leaving after telling him how it all ended.

But this shouldn't have been the sort of circumstances in which those words were said. They should have been just elated to be alive and relishing the feel of one another in his head, but that's not at all what happened. It's as if the weight of everything that happened dragged down this moment and he hates it so much.

It makes him feel even more exhausted.

Dave gives Maxxie's hand another squeeze and leans back against the bed. "I think I'm going to try to sleep again. Body still feels like shit, and maybe it would do us some good. ,,,Will you stay here with me?"

It's not going to be the most comfortable fit in the world, the clinic bed not made for two people, but there's no place else Maxxie wants to be than curled up against the warmth of his boyfriend. He nods silently and kisses Dave's temple before settling in properly at his side.

"I'll be here," he promises. "Until you feel better."

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